Some people are strange; others are wonderful

How come some people know you have cancer and don't say one word about it? It seems like it isn't that hard to say "I'm sorry you got cancer (again)". I'm not looking for sympathy that I have it, just an acknoldgement. On the other hand, I hear from people I haven't heard from in ages or don't know all that well and they are very supportive. So I guess that is the better thing to focus on.

And so many great people helping us out that we are so appreciative of. Every good thought means a lot to us.

And a quick Harper story, just becuase it was so funny this morning. We're driving to school and talking about whatever and she says "Mom, take a deep breath and calm down" (I'm totally calm so ok) so I do and then she says, "Cross your ams like this and then it will help you be patient with me." I'm not sure what crossing your arms does to help with patience and we were just talking but ok, I'll try it next time! :)

Back to work

I know after a long holiday weekend most people dread going back to work but not me! I got the ok from the surgeon today and headed into work as soon as her fax came through. It was so nice to get out of the house and to be around people. Plus, when you have surgery and come back to work you always get some sympathy which is nice. And then Megan, one of the RNs, gave me a back massage that was wonderful. She said I need a total massage and I'm not going to disagree with her on that one!

I'm off work tomorrow but then back for the rest of the week.

Casting for Recovery pictures

Here are some of the pictures from the Casting for Recovery Retreat. What a great experience. i caught a brown trout. I felt bad for him but he didn't fight too much so I think he knew it was catch and release and I just wanted a photo and then he was free to go.

Things I have learned from cancer...

Ice cream cookie sandwhiches are really good.

Macaroni and cheese helps with nausea.

A good doctor can make all the difference. So can her nurses and everyone in her office.

When you get chemo every week you get to skip to the front of the check in line (oooh, the perks).

I have a lot of amazing friends that helped me get through it last time.

I have a lot more amazing friends that will help me get through it this time.

I wear a cowboy boot necklace almost every day to remind me to "kick cancer's ass" given to me by a great group of friends.

I don't think it's fair that I got cancer but I don't think it is fair for anyone to get cancer so you will never hear me say it's not fair.

Cancer really does suck.

I don't capitalize "cancer" unless it is at the beginning of a sentence. It doesn't deserve the respect.

My husband is a wonderful help getting me through this and it would really suck without him.

My daughter helps me get out of bed in the morning (figuratively although she is happy to help me physically as well).

Fly fishing with a bunch of other survivors is fantastic treatment.

I'm sure there is a lot more but that is all I can think of right now.

Surgery hurts

It's been two days and I realize I shouldn't expect to not hurt but it really does still hurt. I'm ready for the pain to end. It doesn't hurt as much as last time luckily. And I think I'm off the percocet except for night. I knitted yesterday and it looks great but the pocket I sewed on is very sideways. Need to fix before taking more medicine! I even took a shower today! I had a ton of blood caked on to the back of my hair~ how gross!

good news

Good news from the surgery, the cancer has not spread. Such a relief to hear! I'm pretty high on percocet right now so this might be a sketchy post. They had to put my port in pretty high on my neck so that hurts the most of anything. Luckily my chest is numb so I feel no pain there. They thought I might have broken my collarbone at some point in my life there was so much scar tissue but I think I would remember that happening and I don't remember that! So much for the low scars that Dr. Finlayson made for me the first time. But anything is better than getting an IV in my arm, they tried four times yesterday and I thought they were maybe going to have to do the surgery while I was awake. I think my arm is more bruised than anything else. I need to go get some sleep (yes, it is 10am but percocet knocks me out).

My work is so great!

I was suprised (kinda :) ) by a birthday party at work this afternoon. They are so great. They even had me get Harper so she could enjoy it too. Lots of food certificates which are going to be so great while I am recovering and going through chemo. Such a wonderful group of women that I work with! I am so lucky. They even got Harper some cute little presents.

Going in for surgery tomorrow

Real quick, found out yesterday that my cancer is not a recurrence of the other one, it is a whole new cancer. So that means I get to get chemo again. I am having surgery tomorrow to remove the rest of the tumor, check my lymph nodes and get a port put in. Happy birthday to me!

My work is great about this, so much better than last time although how could anyone be worse?

It's out patient surgery so I'll have Matt post tomorrow when we get home how it all went.

Jessica

I caught a fish!

The Casting for Recovery retreat was so great. I'll post pics tomorrow, it was a busy weekend. I did catch a fish today though which was really cool. I even picked it up with my bare hands! Lots of great times, food (lots and lots of great food) and really cool people.

I'll post more tomorrow but here are the links of the weekend:
www.castingforrecovery.org
www.northforkranch.com

I'd reccomend both!

Gone fishing

I'm leaving in a few minutes to spend the weekend up in the mountains. I'm going to go fly fishing with about 11 other breast cancer patients/survivors. My old oncologist is going to be the medical advisor so it will be good to reconnect with her.

When I went to get my fishing license the guy working said "Hmmm, you must not have gotten a lisence for a long time" Ummm, never. So I think he figured that out when I told him that I had to get some sort of wildlife stamp or something and just really didn't know what a fishing license would look like.

Should be a lot of fun and luckily it is catch and release although I figure with my luck I'll catch the biggest fish. What does a vegetarian do when they catch a fish? Do I have to touch it to get it off my pole? Ewww.

So we're up in the mountains at some nice fishing resort, should be great, I'll post pics when I get back. Harper and Matt have a great weekend planned with out Mommy. In the meantime, have a good weekend!

Gonna work one job full time!

Well, I was going to work a second job this summer. I had a job all lined up at Raftmasters, a local rafting company. My official job title was "Office Girl" but today at my regular work I was offered full time! Great news. But I did have to quit the job I never even started. So no free rafting this summer but now we would maybe have the money to go if we want to (also, I'm not sure when I would have had time working two jobs anyway!).

So I got the results of the PET scan the other day and the good news is that the cancer has not spread. So no chemo. I'll have to get another scan in 3-4 months to make sure that nothing has changed.

I did get a call from my surgeon today that the margins on my tumor removal weren't good so I will be getting some more of me removed. But it didn't hurt last time (the other week) so hopefully she will be able to do it in her office again and I won't have to have surgery.

I meet with the radiation oncologist on Monday to plan out radiation. Six weeks, Monday through Friday. I think I am going to get really tired of driving to Pueblo but it is a lot better than driving to Denver and anything is better than chemo!

Welcome to my blog!

Ok, so I'm new at this but wanted a way to let you all know what is going on. Too many people have said they are never opening my emails again so now you won't have to.

On August 8, 2008 I had my 27th chemo appointment and was positive that I would never have to do this again. Now I'm not so sure. I was just diagnosed with cancer again but since it is the weekend I have to wait to find out more info. I had a PET scan on Friday morning and I'm supposed to get the results on Monday. Usually weekends go so fast, not this one! With the results of the PET scan we'll know if the cancer has spread. If so, I'll be getting chemo again. I'm really really hoping it hasn't, I really don't want to do chemo again. I can do 30 radiation sessions (Monday - Friday for six weeks). That doesn't seem quite so bad as chemo although when you think of 30 radiation treatments that doesn't seem so great either.

We're going to try and get our minds off cancer today and go the the Brew Ha Ha. Should be fun~comedians and beer!